How About Some Positive Peer Pressure?

Although the last five blogs highlighted parenting tips to help their school age children resist negative peer pressure, it is essential to remember that peer pressure isn’t always negative. Positive peer pressure assists school age children with reinforcing skills.

An important example is demonstrating appropriate social behaviors. You may hound your kids about their manner with little results, but when their friends make comments, they often listen.

“That’s gross.”

Take for example, body functions, like inappropriate belching. “That’s gross,” friends may groan. Or maybe your daughter doesn’t like washing her hair. A friend may comment, “You’re not going to the birthday party with your hair like that.” Of course not, and the hair is washed, styled and off they go.


Peers can also motivate positive personal changes. (1) Maybe your daughter is struggling with math. Her friend offers to lend her a hand. Or possibly your son wants to play a sport but hasn’t joined a team before. A friend may join the team with him. Perhaps your daughter is organizationally challenged. A peer can help arrange her school binder.


Peers can rally round your child to maintain self-confidence and a sense of belonging and meaning. (1) Kids usually choose friends who are similar to them. This helps children feel like they belong to something beyond their families. Having good friends with similar values provides fun times together and helps children feel more confident.


Positive peer pressure can also influence peers to volunteer, work towards becoming more “green,” staying away from drugs and alcohol, and thriving in academics and goals. (1) Even amongst school age children, natural leaders will guide peers to make a difference.


Check to see which non-profit organizations allow school age volunteers, such as food banks, homeless shelters, or animal rescue organizations or shelters. Some kids help save our environment. Other children challenge peers to stay away from drugs and alcohol or do well in school. When parents hear about negative peer pressure, keep in mind that peer pressure can also become a very beneficial asset for you and your child.


1, Peer Pressure: Why it seems worse than ever and how to help kids resist it, Malia Jacobson, August 29, 2013,

2. Image: Image from: Stock.XCHNG learning-the-rules 909359-s

2 Responses to “How About Some Positive Peer Pressure?”

  1. Reply Toni

    Hi, Useful blog. But when I went half way through, I realized the incident mentioned would have taken place in the US and not in India. The 2 guys fought incident. I thought in our place (India) they will call and make them to stand in front of HM office for at least 1 hour as punishment. After reading the whole, I confirmed, as it was written by padma’ who is here in US. Arthi

    • Reply Dr. Marian Fritzemeier, Ed.D.

      You’re right. I’m in the U.S. Sometimes parents still have kids stand in the corner when they’ve misbehaved. There are many alternatives that don’t produce shame. Unfortunately, this punishment is still around. Thanks for your comments.

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